Noosa (Nooosa Heads - 02nd Jul. '02)

The zoo was great. Noosa is great. The weather is great. The beach is great. The National Park is great. We saw a wild Koala! Noosa is my favourite place on earth. I am very uninspired today. Goodbye.

Steve Irwin - Crocodile Hunter - Annoying Ozzie bloke - Owns a Zoo and it's excellent fun! The Koala's are amazing - so funny, and we saw some with babies in their pouches - Ahhh! Lots of Crocodiles & Alligators and some good Crocodile shows. Later that evening we got caught up in some silly "games" in the bar - inevitably I ended up on stage being a mad a fool of!

We had a nice day on the Beach yesterday.

And Eimear and I went for a lovely walk in Noosa Park today - absolutely amazing coastline. And the world famous surf spot - Noosa Heads - is absolutely increddible. Drinks and World Cup final tonight. Meal out tomorrow as a last night treat and then up to Hervey Bay (where I have been allready!).

BTW. Noosa itself is an amazingly beautiful town, and the beach is out-of-this-world. All in all, the nicest place that I've been in Australia! Happy Dayz. Piccies Soon.

So, it was sad to be back in Sydney, yet it felt that we were in the right place, with everyone. And we spent time with Annie's sister - Liz, and their parents which was nice.

So we are up in Noosa! Lovely place a couple of hours north of Brisbane. We stopped in Brisbane for a few days, and met up with Dee, Charlie & Jane - his girlie, and also Fidelma - another of the girls friends from Ireland. Walked along the river, got pissed & went ice skating of all things! Now we are in Noosa, spent today around the pool - just about warm enough. Happy days. We went for a short walk in the Park here yesterday and saw a wild Koala! Laughing. Then we had a BBQ with grand quantities of Vino and watched the most amazing sunset ever! Photos soon.

We're off to Australia Zoo - of Crocodile Hunter, Steve Irwin Fame - tomorrow so an early start and so no vin red tonight. And so I guess that is it for now, I'm afraid that it's in as little detail as I can muster to write at the moment cause I'm very tired after a couple of days partying. Speak to you all soon. J.

I arrived in Byron early the next morning and found Eimear & Dee with huge hangovers. We chilled out for a few days & watched Eng vs. Nigeria. We recieved some tragic news a few days later... Early in the morning of Friday 15th June five of our friends in Sydney were involved in a car crash. Annabell Eardley died at the scene. She was a beautiful girl, with a joyful smile that seemed to be connected directly to a huge, playful heart. She was fun, endlessly bubbly and an amazing person to have known, so sad that it was tragically for such a short time. A tragedy in life that makes you assess your own; your luck, your actions, your risks, your loves. Rest In Peace Annie, we love you and you are in our thoughts… Eimear and I returned to Sydney as soon as we were able. There will be a service on Friday.

Well, my 6000km u-turn has swung into action and I've hit the ground running literally, it's becoming a traveling frenzy. So why waste time? I'm hopping the stop-over in Sydney and bussing straight up to Byron so I'm now killing 10 hours until the next leg of my journey starts - 14 hours back up to Byron. Tickets falling out of every pocket, bags in left luggage everywhere, and phone calls galore - keeping track of my place in the stillness around me and trying to sponge a bathroom for a shower & clean up. Watch out Byron - I'll be doing a lot of sleeping when I get there!! (Appologies to Quantas who are now down 1 pillow and 1 blanket)

Well, at least I've seen Perth now! But it's cold and boring and I have loads of friends on the East coast having a ball in the sunshine. So clearly there is only one place to be - and that ain't here.

So in a U turn of monumental size I am heading back to the Eastside and back up the coast. I'm flying back to Sydney overnight tonight, staying with a friend Terry for a few days, and then getting a coach all the way up to Noosa over Friday night where Eimear, Dee and Charlie will be. Much better plan. Happy dayz are here again...!

Well this morning I have walked the length of Perth! I walked up to Kings Park which is high up at the Southern end of Perth - magnificent views & lots of War memorials. I then walked all the way down to the North end of Perth to have a look around the WACA - Western Australia Cricket Association - a large cricket ground, and the only one for about 10 thousand miles in every direction. Or something stupid like that! Not sure about plans, at the moment, Perth just isn't "happening" enough & I'm not sure about the Fruit picking even if a job does come up. Decision time agian...

Well, I'm not sure that Perth is all thats it's cracked up to be, not at this time of year anyway. Not a great deal to do, it's pretty in places but the riverside isn't amazing like I had imagined. Perhaps I'm doing it wrong??

I took the train down to Freemantle yesterday - Freo to the locals - this is where the America's Cup took place. Again very pretty - wide open streets and coffee shops/ cafe's everywhere. I walked around the harbour and visited the Round House - Australia oldest Prison (A prison inside a prison strange!). I also visited Freemantle markets, with the usual ecclectic mix of underwear, sportswear, novelty items, insence and palm reading. I bought 3 pairs of socks - very exciting!! ;) It was warm and sunny which was nice - tshirt weather in the middle of winter - fantastic...!

Anyway, another day of watching football coming up!! It's a lovely clear day mind, maybe I'll figure out something to do.

Perth is cool, if a little weird, there is the backpacker area with bars and the usual dose of seedy shops and cheap tatty internet places, called Northbridge. Its close to the main city, which is basically a huge shopping precinct, it seems so quiet though, almost ghosttown like!! No Taxis, no beeping horns, even the police have extra quiet sirens so as not to disturb anyone! There doesn't seem to be all that much to do, the TV room in the hostel seems to be the most popular entertainment. It's nice to catch up with Jo & Sally & Lee. I'm going down to Freemantle today I think have a look around.

I have a few things to follow up re work but it doesn't look great, so I'll quite likely head north I think find sun & probably fruit picking or something.

Had a good night last night watchin Eng v Arg. Eeeeeeengland, Eeeeeeengland, Eeeeeeengland!

Oh yeah, and we had a chartiy collection bag come through the door the day before I left Sydney, so I put all my PJ O'Briens shirts in there! Hopefully there'll be some tramps wandering around in them soon, hehe...

Well, Eimear and I had a lovely last day together in Sydney in Watsons Bay and walking around South Head watching the sunset. (Small problem after breakfast when E lost here wallet - Oops.) It was all very sad & then we had to say goodbye for the time being yesterday morning. And I'm not ashamed to say that I had a little tear in the corner of my eye...

So, there was a Gas Leak in Bondi Junction and all the roads and the station were closed. So the bus coundn't even get me to the station that was closed let alone get me on a train! So quick decision time and I jumped in a Taxi, realising some time later that I didn't have enough money for a cab! So a detour via a hole in the wall & I finally made in to the Airport. It was going to be one of those days. The wing fell off the aeroplane, or they coundn't start it or something just before we were to board. So we had a three hour delay while Quantas found us a replacement!

It takes nearly 5 hours to fly to Perth. It's madness, another of those times when your actually sitting there whiling away the time reading & watching films that you begin to realise how goddam big this place is. The flight was not helped by Mr. 'Big Shot' Pilot deciding to fly low & faster than normal to try and make up time - we soon found out why this isn't the normal course of action, when everyones (late) lunch hit the roof. Very scary, I tried to put my hand out to steady my cup of tea at one point as it was sloshing all over my leg. My hand - totaly out of my control - waved around in all directions extended in front of me like some useless Elephant trunk, before slamming into the table. I gave up and let the tea spill everywhere. Mind you I had my eyes shut and was gripping the armrests so hard by now I didn't notice the rest of the tea burn through my trouser leg. The woman in the window seat next to me even shut the blnd! (Don't look maybe it'll go away!!) The trolly dollies had been confined to their seats for about 20 minutes now & there were cans and bottles and rubbish all over the floor, a right old mess. I even started to get pain in my shoulder - I guess a through back to my accident on Bondi - where I had been straining so hard to hold onto something. Not funny. Anyway we had clearly been climbing up to a sensible height and the turbulance slowly wore off. As we began our desent into Perth the Pilot came over the tannoy saying; "I am sorry that due to turblulance we were unable to make up any time". No shit Sherlock. High and slow is the only way to fly - don't forget it again!

Anyway, I found the Shuttle bus in to town and booked into the Underground hostel in Northbridge - seems very nice, has a bar & TV room & internet etc. I also met up with Jo once again & we had a couple of Beers and watched Ireland vs Germany, which was a great game by the way & ended 1-1.

I've had breakfast, emailed and done my washing this morning and it's only half nine. Amazing. In fact the morning cleaners and still buzzing around me. Jo and I are going to visit some agencies today for jobs. Fingers crossed. But I think that I'll go find my bearings first, be the lost traveller with a map and a bewildered look for a couple of hours - might as well get it over and done with as it has to be done at some point!

Emails reassuring me that Eimear and I did the right thing by going our seperate ways for a couple of months was the correct thing to do much appretiated. Bye for now. J.

Watched Star Wars last week. Top banana, but it's just not the same without Han Solo is it? And Ja Ja Binks still needs a good kick in the pants.

So the World Cup has started at last, blinding opening comentary; "Welcome to Korea and Japan, two countries with historical histories and futuristic futures" hmm, twat. Anyway, we watched Ireland in the Cock'n'Bull in Bondi Junction, an Irish pub on Saturday. And England we watched in the Oneworld sports bar in Darling Harbour last night. Both draws, I seem to be lacking the usual excitment for some reason, perhaps because of the whole moving on thing, but its a bit weird anyway...

Eeeeeeeeeeeeengland...

I went for a long walk around the south Head of Port Jackson yesterday - thats south head as in 285 Old South Head Road (my address) and Port Jackson as in the official name of Sydney Harbour. It's simply stunning down there, you can see right into Sydney city centre, (much like that photo from Dover Heights). There are cliffs, old fort buildings and defences, at least three lighthouses, some amazing little bays; including Camp Cove where the first camp was made, and to cap off the setting hundreds of coulourful sailing boats of all sizes out in the Harbour. Truly a natural wonder of the world and quite mind blowing to see. I finished the three hour walk with Fish and Chips and a Pint in Watsons Bay. A fine days exploring, and congratulations to Fuji who made another mint out of me!! ;)

Watched the "State of Origin" rugby league match at Stadium Australia yesterday. Very impressive venue, NSW were rank outsiders but came through with an impressive 28-4 win over Queensland. Erm, thats all.

I booked a flight to Perth today - flying over on the 5th June. See if I have any more luck getting a job (and keeping it) over there. Also meet up with Jo again and hopefully watch England cruise to a fine World Cup Victory!!

Going to watch "State of Origin" later - Rugby League match between NSW & Queensland - it should be good. Based on the Lancashire vs. Yorkshire "War of the Roses" and often described as "warfare without weapons."!

Did the Bondi to Coogee walk yesterday. Sat in the Coogee Bay Hotel afterwards, had a couple of pints, and watched England get their arses kicked by Sri Lanka at Lords. Summer at home then!

Hmm, well loads more development. On wednesday we went out for Andrea's birthday (girl I met in Thailand) we went to the Opera House to watch a Ballet!! It was called Ellipse, and I'm told that it was very good. I'm sure that it was but I don't quite get it I'm afraid. It was Modern Dance and very weird, the blokes looked very similar to those that were in the Mardi Gras parade. Hmm, jock straps and very little colourful 'outfits'. Anyway.

Inside the Opera house is a little strange, dissapointing even I would say. The outside - well clearly the most famous building in the world (thats still standing) (Taj Mahal/ Pertronis Towers perhaps, but anyway...) but the inside! Concrete multi-story in west side Brighton (Hove side) springs to mind as a comparison. Even the box-office reminded me of a Post office, complete with red LCD display. Ping-Pong "Next please". The form of the building is completely lost, although it claerly provides a good size and shape for a theather. Shame though, concrete ugly - thats the only way I can describe it. We had a great night mind you, and despite imediate "cash flow" issues we had a few beers in the Martin Place Bar, the Establishment & the Bondi Hotel.

So last night Eimear and I went to stay in the Grace Hotel - I booked this a while back through PJ's as a birthday present for her. I got a 2/3rds discount so it was sweet. Lovely hotel in the centre of Sydney. Huge room with a bed wider than it was long. And after us sharing a single bed for 3 months it was very, very nice! We used the Sauna, Steam room, Spa and the Pool - had a little trouble with the pool - it was only 10 meters long and about 3 wide. For a laugh I though that I would jump over Eimears head and do a "Belly Flop", hmm, well I got in and most of the water got out! I swam to the other end underwater after jumping in and came up to the surface, I turned round to look at Eimear. She had this horrified look on her face, then I noticed the tidal wave rapidly crossing the pool sloshing over the sides and then returning rapidly back across the pool to the other side and sloshing out again. Then she pointed to the walls which were only a meter or so from the edge of the pool. There was water running down the walls from the ceiling to the floor!!! Oops. The pool was 1.1 meters deep when we got in, but could have only been 0.9 meters deep by the time we got out, which was very quickly - we went to hide in the Sauna!! Anyway, we've had a few laughs about that since. We stayed in the hotel room that night, ate some food and a bottle of wine and just watched TV. Absolute bliss. This morning we went for a ride around Sydney on the mono-rail, walked around Darling harbour and visite the Chinese Gardens in the Autumn sun. The Chinese gardens are absolutely stunning (pictures soon, as usual!).

So we now find ourselves looking to the future. E is off up the coast with Dee in a couple of weeks. So I'm at a bit of a crossroad - I could go, but well I've been up the east coast and she had always planned to travel with her friend. They don't need me hanging on, so it looks like E and I will have to put things on hold for a while, which is a real shame but I guess that thats what life on the road means. I have to get work soon and with E leaving and a serious lack of work I think that I'm gonna be making a move, Sydney will seem too weird without her. I may go down to Melbourne for a while and/ or Perth. Set up again and look for work, hopefully E and I will be able to meet up again in the not too distant future. So, it seems the open road/ uncertainty and adventure beckons again within a few weeks...

Well here's an interesting development - I have been "Layed off" from the barman job that I was doing! Official reason: "Your not the fastest behind the bar". Absolute bollocks if you ask me.

I phoned in for my hours on Sunday for this week, and was a bit pissed to be told by the girl that aswered the phone that I didn't seem to be on the roster. The manager wasn't there, so after 3 or 4 calls I eventually got hold of him yesterday. "Sorry mate", he said "there just aren't enough hours for everyone". "So what are you telling me?" I asked, "Does this mean that I haven't got a job or what?". "No, I'm sorry", he told me, "Great, so is there a problem?", "Well your just not the quickest behind the bar!", what a load of shit. I'm not sure if he means that I'm a bit stupid or if when I pour pints they come out slower than anyone else. Anyway I told him that it was a complete arsehole way to lay someone off - make me chase him to find out why I had no hours. He replied with a load more shit about how he had tried to call me, which is also bollocks because I'd been with my phone all day callign him & leaving messages. Bunch of arse. PJ O'Briens sucks anyway. Well, nevermind - onwards and upwards.

On a lighter note E & I went to see The Count Of Monte Cristo last night which is a great film. And on an even better note - I get to wear a t-shirt, jumper and jacket today & there isn't a patch of blue in the sky! I walked down to Bondi Beach earlier and sheltered under a tree and watched a completely empty beach in the drizzle. Boy I can't believe how much I'm enjoying the bad weather!! Madness.

Eimears birthday yesterday (22) had a great day. 15 of us ate out in Darling Harbour - Italian place called Baia then on to the Civic hotel to watch a singer called Deni Hinds - lounge music type swing beat soul diva sorta combo. Very good fun, came home at 3 ish (drunk). Annie's birthday tomorrow (Eimears friend from work) then Andrea's birthday (Girl I met in Thailand) on Tuesday when we are going to the Opera at the Harbour House - Laughing. Pictures soon.

It's raining today - but thats actually a relief from all the fucking sun! Seriously it pisses me off sometimes, get up in the morning - look out of the window and it's like a glorious sunny day & I'm like - "for fuck sake, can't we just have a day of miserable weather?" I think that it maybe some inherent Englishness or something, but there's nothing better than a cold, miserable, drizzle day. Wet hair and a slight chill. Just what I needed. Lovely.

I took a 'short walk' up to North Bondi today, there is a tall structure - looks like a monument or chimney, anyway my curisoity got the better of me so I set of on a mission of discovery. I reached the chimney via North Bondi Golf Club, and I'm very glad that I did - there are some amazing views of Bondi, and the structure is in fact a chimney that belongs to the Sydney Water and Sewage Corporation!

After looking around for a while I decided to carry on walking along the headland because I suspected that you could get some even better views. To my amazement Sydney City Centre and even the Harbour & the bridge started to come into view! I couldn't believe it, I just assumed that it wasn't possible, it was getting late in the evening and as the sun set, the views became more and more impressive. It's great isn't it when you go for a walk - exploring - and you find something totaly unexpected. I was pretty blown away & as usual ended up taking way, way, too many photos. Anyway I've taken them in to be developed so I'll try and get one or two up tomorrow...

Off into town to Meet E now, one of her friends from work has moved house so were gonna have a few bottles of vino... :)

Visited the Lord Nelson again for Charlies birthday for lots of fine bitter, and Pie, Mash, Peas & Gravy again! Yum! Beforehand we went to the Harbour View hotel for a few beers which is a hotel with a harbour view! clever hey! - Actually it's very, very nice with lots of flaming lights on the balcony which createed a lovely atmosphere.

On Thursday (2nd May) Eimear and I took the train & and then ferry to the Royal National Park just a little south of Botony Bay & Cronulla. We walked for a few hours, sat on the cliff & had a pic-nic & walked along Jibbon beach. All very nice, and there was some amazing scenery & views of Sydney.

Still working hard at being a barman!

Watched the FA Cup last night, and the usual May sunshine made me a little homesick... ...well for a few minutes anyway ;)

Here, and here.

That's all.

I forgot, on the 17th, Eimear, Charlie, me and two of Eimear's friends from work; Tanya and Liz went to see the Shaolin Monks at the State Theatre in Sydney. These are the guy's that invented Kung Fu as a method to defend their temples from marauding warlords 1500 years ago. The Kung Fu is based on peace, harmony and spirituality forged through years of struggle, invasion and war.

They are all fully ordained Shaolin Monks, and the show is pretty impressive. They dedicate their lives to physical & mental perfection, and they demonstrate this through meditation and smashing iron bars over their heads(!) One guy even does a handstand using just his index fingers. I couldn't see the point to that though. (Sorry!)

Just though that I'd explain about the door to door thing; I didn't actually "Sell" anything, it was "lead generation", the pitch went like this; "Good morning, my name is James. Don't worry I'm not selling anything and no one will try to sell you anything as a result of my calling. "I represent the National Investment Institute and we are doing some free promotional work in the area to generate intrest in our company. "Have you heard of us?" Reply: Yes/ No "Ah excellent, just what I wanted to hear. "Now, if I could tell you that we could teach you - for free - how to purchase a $300k property for investment purposes for just $300 of you own money that would be pretty impressive wouldn't it?" Reply: Yes/ No "Of course it would! We can offer you a *free* consultation, just a half hour or so of your time, to teach you how this can be done and many other investment skills such as buying property that will out perform the market by up to 30%. It's totally free and no one will try to sell you anything. You have my guarentee of that. Impressive isn't it?" Reply: Yes/ No/ How can it be free? "We can offer this service for free simply for company promotion, this consultation normally costs $350 but totay only I can give this to you for free. The idea being that in 12-18 months when you have a portfolio of 3 of 4 properties valued at up to $1m, your friends and neighbours will want to know how you did it and you'll send them to the National Investment Institute. "It works both ways, helping us and helping you. Now all I have to do is take some details..." So I take details, name, age etc, and also all sorts of emotional stuff, like; "If you had $1m what would you like to provide for your children?" Then of course the "consultant" calls on the free offer. But of course he's selling stuff, he's selling National Investment Institute education courses, the most expensive of which is a $15000 (fifteen thousand dollar) 12 month course! These consultants are amazing salesmen, they have your details and they use them - get you where they know your concerns are - they get money out of 8 of every 10 people that they visit! And 1 out of every 10 parts with the $15000!! There's a monthly payment scheme you see so you don't have to part with anything totday just sign on the line! Well anyway, I'm sure that the course has some educational value, and in fact they do guarentee that you'll make money. But the fact is these people don't really want to do it, even with a guarentee. And they get "sold" into it. Nasty.

Oh yeah, and I did an evenings work as a door to door salesman! I even made two sales, but it is by far the most dishonest thing that I have ever done, and even though the money was good I'm afraid that my conscience got the better of me. So I jacked it in. Don't trust door to door salesmen people, they lie like you wouldn't believe. Scumbags.

Hmm, well I have not been near a computer for a week or two, and so my email and website are a little behind the program. 101 new email, yes well thanks this will be fun to sort out and reply to!!! - Well just deleted all the junk and got it down to 28 new, typical!

Anyway, I am now a barman at P.J.O'briens, the Sydney branch is so new that it doesn't even feature on the website yet! I worked on the opening night on Saturday, we had dancing on the bar & peeps drinking Sambookakaka out of girls belly buttons. (They were laying on the bar at the time - the girls that is!) So seems that a good crowd work there - we had a staff dinner before we opened which was a great way to get to know people - AMAZING roast! Yum! And on the wednesday before they had a party for all the builders - so we had a few freebies then as well.
Fantastic.

On Thursady we (E, me, Dee (E's friend) and Kevin (Dee's friend from work)) went up to Palm beach. Thats "Home & Away" country for those of you who know what that is, & for those of you that don't it's where the likes of Nicole Kidman :p have homes. Very, very nice bay & beach. We took the bus from Sydney in the morning (1 1/2 hrs), had some lunch when we arrived. We then walked along the beach, amazing orange coloured sand & huge waves rolling in, each one slamming into the beach with the sound of thunder! Amazing. Up to the Summer Bay Surf Life Saving Club (Home & Away, is an Aussie soap filmed on Palm Beach, but they call it Summer Bay). Crossing over the Head there is a large inlet called Pitt water, we hired a boat and motored abour for two hours, looking at the most amazing houses & boats, and stopped for a swim on a small & deserted beach.
Nice.

After our boat trip we walked up to the lighthouse (Can't remember what it's called) on the head. There is an very old stone road that was build by convicts around 150 yrs ago. Also an amazing stone path called the 'Smugglers Path' which is build straight up the side of a cliff. We took the Smugglers Path, there are some incredible views from the top - photos soon. We started to climb down as the sun set & were treated to am amazing sunset just as we reached the bottom. We walked back along the beach & jumped on a bus home. 'All you can eat for $14' at Pizza Hut & home to bed.
Rock'n'Roll Mav.

Eimear and I are going to the Lord Nelson tonight - the oldest put in Sydney (1846, I think). It has a real English feel about it, so I'm going to drink Bitter & eat Pie Mash and Peas.
Get In.

Charlie gave me a surfing lesson down on Cronulla beach on wednesday. Lovely day and the beach was empty and great conditions for learning. I stood on the board once or twice and really enjoyed it, I'll be hanging ten in no time!

Yesterday I ate out with Eimear and some of her work friends for a guy called Jamie's birthday. We went to the revolving restaurant at the top of the AMP tower, which is the tallest building in Sydney - great views obviously. I ate Kangaroo, Camel and Emu (sorry Rod) which were good, okay and bad in that order. Afterwards we went to a nice bar called the Establishment and drank to much.

Aussies are weird, there is a new book out here about Football, err soccer that is and it's called; "Sheilas, Wogs and Pooftas"!!! Amazing. Bloody red necks!

Charlie Charles and I paid a visit to Her Majesties Australian Ship 'Vampire', and her accompanying Submarine Her Majesties Ounslow.

And a very entertaining trip it was to. Amazing in fact to see the inner workings of these ancient war machines, but so old and antiquated! Retired now, obviously, and museum pieces moored in Darling harbour. The redundant technology and huge old radar screens quite amazing - and some of the working conditions, cramped, stuffy little rooms with pipes and levers everywhere. Horrible to think that men fought in those conditions. Bless them all. In the Officers Wardroom there were large portraits of the Queen and Prince Philip, which made me feel homesick. Odd that. You know when they (Liz & phil) were down here last month they went to see a traditional Aboriginal exhibition. Prince Philip’s 'amusing' remark to one of the Aborigines after the show was; "Do you guys still throw spears at each other?". Get in.

We also went to the IMAX theatre - huge cinema with an 8 story high screen and watched a film about Sir Ernest Shackleton - what an amazing man! In December 1914, Shackleton set sail with his 27-man crew, many of whom, it is said, had responded to the following recruitment notice: "Men wanted for hazardous journey. Small wages. Bitter cold. Long months of complete darkness. Constant danger. Safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in case of success. —Ernest Shackleton."

Watched a surf competition down on Bondi yesterday, very impressive, and then got drunk watching England thrash Wales in the 5 Nations, also, very impressive. :)

Charlie, Eimear and I went to the Sydney Contemporary Art Museum on Thursday. There was "art" on the first floor and to start my description I will use the words 'absolute' and 'bollocks'. I have never seen such crap in all my life. I'm sorry (no I'm not) but I feel that if it is really "art" then it should evoke some kind of emotional response, or at least be 'clever' or make you think about something.

Example; a large canvas covered in pink paper with black lines rulered across it horizontally, alternate lines had evenly spaced gaps along their length. Thats it, you could write a computer program to reproduce it in a couple of minutes. There was a description with it (because obviously it has no meaning without a description) which really irritated me. Not having a copy I will relay it as I remember; "The artist used ordinary school paper for this piece, being drawn to its fugitive quality.". What!!?? "fugitive quality", what the fuck does that mean?? "Hi, I'm an artist, and I'm drawn to this ordinary, plain piece of boring school drawing paper because of it's 'fugitive quality'". Artist my arse, your a mad bloody mentalist and you need to be locked up. The description ended; "You have to read between the lines to find it's meaning". Oh dear. There is nothing between the lines, and I guess then, that must be the meaning; there is no meaning. It's utterly pointless and complete pretentious rubbish. It's a bit of paper that you painted pink and drew a line across. Don't insult me again.

On the top floor however there was a brilliant display by an Iranian artist, called 'Tracing The Shadow'. It was very clever, there were sketches, paintings, photos & installations using light, shadow and reflection very cleverly and we enjoyed that very much. He made shadows come from nowhere, or appear to be the wrong shape. Much better than the "Fugitive" paper.

Rant over :), replies on an email please.

We found a space shuttle the other day. Seriously, it was in a car park on the far side of Darling harbour under a tarp. Charlie and I were wandering around and there is was, abandoned by all accounts. We pulled the cover aside and it was even covered in old Russian Hammer & Sicle Flags. Pretty big it was too, full size - looks like a genuine one. I bet there is some Rusky sitting in his office back in the Mother land pulling his hair out. "I'm zure I knew vhere it was yezterday, zere waz a blip on ze screen zere, and zen I come into vork today and itz gone. Goddamn, I bet ze Americanz have stolen it". Well Mr. Rusky itz in the car park round the back of the Star City Casino, Sydney, Australia. No reward necessary thanks. I bet the pilots arehavingthe time of their lives, tanning themselves on Bondi Beach. A real live Red October by all accounts. But with a 10 trillion dollar space ship. (I understand that this story sounds a little far fetched, but don't judge it's validity until you see the photo which will be along very soon...!)

I have my first surfing injury, a mile stone on the road of development of any Bondi Beach bum apparently. Big, big waves on Saturday, good 5-6fters. So there's me mucking about body surfing for an hour or so & I'm pretty nackered now, it's tiring stuff. So I turn to swim in, a huge wave is coming & I think that I'll take a ride in on it. As it approaches I start to think maybe its too big & it'll break early so I ought to duck under it. But no, I decide that I'll take the ride anyway go knows why. The monster thing is on me before I know it, it picks me up by the feet and turns me upside down - literaly my feet are vertically above my head. Oops. Next it sucks out all the water from in front of it - it's getting greedy, it wants to be huge, so it puffs out it's chest by sucking in all available water. And now in one big effort it drives me downwards onto the seabed in front where there used to be some water. I try to curl up and roll along with the force of the wave but it's too quick for me and I hit the sand on the back of my right shoulder in a sickening crunch. Ouch. I start to cry and run up the beach screaming "Mummy" so loud that the whole beach can hear!! Well close anyway. I went to see a quack yesterday, it's not too bad - I have a strained Biceps Tendon, Strained Acromio/ Clavicular Ligament and Ligament injury in the Thoracic Spine. Ouch. It sound worse than it is really, just a big of back ache and a sore shoulder - She'll be right, by the end of the week.

Not only is this country full of deadly plants, animals and insects but the beaches with rips, mega currents and monster killer waves will kill you in the blink of an eyelid aswell. Lifes a beach and then it kills you. Hmm...?!

Eimear and I hired a car (automatic golf) on Monday and we took a trip up to the Blue Mountains, about an hour and a half drive west of Sydney. We were meeting up with Annie, Liz and Terry who are friends of Eimears from work. They had traveled up by train the day before, and hired an amazing apartment - fantastic views out over the mountains. The mountains aren't very mountain like, more like a wide high area with a huge canyon worn out by ancient glaciers through the middle.

We arrived at 4 is, the other three were sitting in a pub garden, it was a lovely day - nice and warm so we joined them. And that was that for the day! We had a grat laugh actually, mucking about and then going back to the apartment to make the most of it.

A little hung over on Tuesday but we were soon up and cooked a good breakfast, then we walked down to the Three sisters - three huge spires of rock that somehow havw remained while the rest of the area has been worn away. We then took a long walk down the giants staircase to the floor of the canyon and along for a good hour or so. The canyon is heavily wooded and the path felt quite remote, apart from the occasional walker there were few people on the trail, but there were some amazing views and many waterfalls as run off drains down into the canyon. We eventually came to our method of getting back up to the top - The steepest railway in the world! And boy it is steep - practically a lift! You sit facing backwards into the canyon on seats that feel like they are at a very silly angle, but once you get going and the gradient gets steeper you soon realise why you sit like that. The middle of the trip is through a tunnel cut into the canyon wall and you are pretty much traveling vertically. Great fun! We sat at the top and had some food and a beer in the sun - it was very hot. (After visiting the gift shop of course!!) We took a tour bus back to Katooma - the town where we were staying.

We cooked a monster meal that evening and pretty much took it easy lapping up the luxury of the apartment, curled up on the huge sofa and watched films on the huge TV. Bliss. Slept well & drove home the next day. Great trip.

Just about to run out of cash and a 950 pound tax rebate comes through the door. Bugger me, what luck.

Watched a bit of the Mardi Gras on Saturday - men in Silver Jock Straps, shaved and greased chests prancing down the road to the sound of YMCA. Hmm, after half an hour or so we went to the pub instead and reasserted our masculinity by watching the Rugby, much more fun...

Charlie, mate from home arrived on Thursday so we've been out a few times, which has been cool. Some lads that he knows here have an appartment on the 32nd floor of a tower right in the centre of town - amazing views, we had a BBQ up there before the Mardi Gras. Very nice.

No job still. See Ya...

Still no job, might have to look for something more menial.

Went to a great bar this week, well it had a great view anyway - the Bridge Bar on Circular Quay it's on the 10th floor right on the harbour so it has fantastic views of the Bridge & Opera house & the QE2 which was in town. Which was nice.

To celebrate still not having a job I splashed out on a nice meal in Darling Harbour on Thursday night with Eimear. (cc abuse hotline!) It's really nice down there, warm night, sit on the quay side, great food, great wine & all at a very reasonable price (christ I sound like the folks!)

Spent the weekend on the beach, got smashed around today (Sunday) by some monster waves which is always great fun - despite being in constant fear for your life - maybe thats why it's so fun? - I dunno...

Anyway no more news, c ya...

Settling back into life in Bondi, sharing a house with the Irish lasses again, one of whom is now my girlfriend! And looking for a job, nothing else to report really. Oz rocks, and my tan is comming on a treat. Added photo's: Here: http://www.sliminaus.co.uk/photos.html?id=005 Here: http://www.sliminaus.co.uk/photos.html?id=006 And here: http://www.sliminaus.co.uk/photos.html?id=010

Hmm, had a bit of trouble on Fraser Island:

There was a group of 4 Scouse lads in our group, me, a yank & 2 canadians making up 8, who were all hiring a 4x4 - Wasn't our choice it's just how we were put in groups. Anyway these 4 lads were obviouly a bit stupid, twats, actually is probably the right description. It started off with them being 20 minutes late for the briefing - one of them missing it entirely because he was getting his hair cut! Anyway, we got away and saw all the stuff on the 1st day, all the lakes etc. Beautiful - Amazing place, and the water was soo clear, you could see that white 'rippling net' type patten that you get on swimming pool bottoms in the sand under water, I loved it apart from these 4 dicks being there. The tracks and the forest were amazing also. On the 2nd day, they decided to start drinking at breakfast. Fare enough. It was pretty much my turn to drive anyway so I made sure that I drove that morning. I drove to the wreck & the creek etc. and up to Indian Head - They kept drinking at every stop. We parked up & set up camp, two of the yanks guys went for a walk & me and the other girl walked up to Indian Head lookout to look for Sharks, leaving the 4 lads in the campsite drinking. You guessed it? They decided to go for a "spin" and ended up turning the fucking truck upside down! Smashed it to pieces, totaled, written off. Twats. They made up some bullshit about swerving to avoid a Dingo, but one of them told me that was bollocks & that they were going way too fast, twatting around. Put a shitter on the trip that. They had cuts and bruises but no real injuries. Shame. Anyway we spent the rest of the time trying to get rescued, eventually the hire company came to get us & tow the truck away, and then we spent the afternoon & evening with the hire company argueing with them about insurance (which didn't cover it) and we even spent 3 hrs in the Police station! Shitter. Anyway, they are only holding the 4 lads responsible because clearly it was their fault. The rest of us are fine. $10,000 is the bill and last I knew they were refusing to pay - the hire company had taken $5000 from the credit card which was left as a deposit - luckily one of theirs. I just hope that it doesn't get all legal because we all took responsibility on the hire forms. Fingers crossed hey?

So, I may try Fraser island again one day! The evening after the crash we sat aroud a campfire and everyone tried to be diplomatic while they babbled on and joked about how they couldn't wait to tell their mates back home that they had written off a Land Rover! Turns out that they have quite a history of crashes between them & the lad that was driving at the time even has 12 points on his licence! Slowly we managed to get the conversation to other subjects, mostly by consuming lots of booze. At one point I was just listening in and the coversation went something like this:

The yank and the canadians (El, Mel & John by the way) were talking about The Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy, by Douglas Adams, one of the scouse lads, Nobby, pipes up with the considered comment: "What the facks that then?", John explains that it's a book and briefly what the story is about, ending on the fact that the conclusion was that the answer to "life, the universe and everything" was in fact, 42. "No facking way" is the reply. "I reckon thats bollocks, me" Rick helps the conversation along with. Everyone looks the the Ian who hasn't made his opinion clear on the matter yet, but we all know that it's coming; "I reckon that the answer to all that shit is going to some shithole island and rolling a truck cause these nothing better to do." Lot's of laughing from one half of the group and then "Chuck us anuva tinny Nobby you prick". Hmm, next conversation topic please that one seems to have lost it's appeal.

There was another conversation that I would rather have not been present at with an island warden that had done everything he could to help us out that day (and obviously loved the island because he know lived there 7 days in 10). Comments that I remember are: "Why don't they just shoot all the bastard Dingos?", "Whats wrong with wacking some proppa roads in?", and "I ain't neva comin' back here - theres fack all to do".

Anyway, these things are sent to try us...

I forgot to mention, the meal in the hostel after the sailing trip was great. And the day I left Airlie I spent down at the artificial Lagoon (no swimming in the sea, this time of the year because of stinggers you see) which must be one of the most beautiful man-made locations in the world! Lovely. I was just begining to work out what the only problem with travelling the Australian East Coast is: Everytime you arrive somewhere you begin to think that it may be even more beautifull than the last place. After a day you conclude that it is. After two days you begin to wonder if you could spend a long time there. After three days you have to leave else you probably wouldn't see your family for a very long time...

Fraser would have definately continued the sequence if it wasn't for the obvious...

I left on the 1st bus out of Hervey Bay - I needed to get away - and I'm now in Byron Bay...

I'll let you know how it is in a few days.

Well I just got back from the sailing trip which was amazing. The Whitsundays really are an amazingly beautiful place. I was on a boat called Otella which slept 14 + 2 crew so there was a great atmosphere & everyone got on really well (nobody from the "irritating nations" thank god!). The first day we sailed out through some of the islands to an island called Hook Island where we snorkled and then ate dinner. The snorkling is amazing. Clear blue sky and clear blue sea - the coral and the abundance of fish is absolutely incredible. The vibrant colours of the fish and the coral is stunning and it's very easy to float around for hours just watching the reef. The fish are amazingly inquisative as well and many of them like to come and nibble your toes! After dinner we went ashore to a bar on Hook Island and played drinking games! As you'd expect. We returned to the boat at 11ish and sat up until 2am chatting & drinking. I slept up on deck that night watching the stars again.

Early start next day and we sailed to Whitehaven Beach which is suposed to be one of the best beaches in the world - you see it in many postcards. The sand is an increddible pure white colour & the sea is so clear it looks like bottled mineral water! We saw Sting Rays and a Tiger Shark there - still went swimming mind! - We walked up to a lookout to get some good photo's and returned to the boat for lunch. We spent the rest of the day sailing between the best snorkling spots and each one seemed better than the last - absolutely stunning! I took an underwater camera so who knows I may even have got a picture with a fish in it! Barbarque on the boat that night a few more beers & a lot more chatting. Up early this morning - a little more snorkling and then a leasurely sail home. A fantastic trip. Everyone from the boat is meeting up at the hostel that I'm in (Reefo's) tonight for dinner. Wahay!

Mission Beach was great, if you go there stay at Scotty's - it's fantastic. Backpackers Paradise.

I'm in Airlie Beach now - off sailing around the Whitsundays for a few days later today. Weather is great. Bank is empty. Tell you all how it was in a few days... J

I really should explain about the Skydiving. Hmm, how? This was the most unbelievable thing I have ever done by a long shot. HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!! It makes me want to scream thinking about it. The package that I bought included a fall from 8000ft but I paid to upgrade to 14000ft which is the highest allowed by law. The ride up took about 25 minutes in a steep climb in a tiny aeroplane which had it's door missing, slightly disconcerting amount of duck tape holding bits of it together, kept backfiring and had flames leaping out of the engine. They reassured me that it was supposed to be like that. Fare enough. There were 2 girls on hte same flight but they were getting off at 12000ft. Watching them suddenly vanish out of the door with nothing but a sudden rush of wind was pretty nervey - even that made me scream!

"1 mile" the pilot called out, the altometer on the guy with the video camera only went up to 12000ft so when he showed me it, it was off the scale! Hmm! "10 seconds", goggles on and we shuffled to the hole which used to be a door. My knees were hanging over the edge - I looked down. Fourteen thousand feet of clear blue sky and a tiny beach way down. No time to shit yourself though...

"Ready", rock forward.
"Set", rock back.
"GO!!", rock forward and keep going!

SSSSSHHHHHHIIIIIITTTTTTTTT, SSSSSSSHHHHHIIIIITTTTTTTTTT, SSSSSHHHHHHIIIIIITTTTTTTTT, SSSSSSSHHHHHIIIIITTTTTTTTTT, SSSSSHHHHHHIIIIIITTTTTTTTT, SSSSSSSHHHHHIIIIITTTTTTTTTT. We tumbled over and my 1st recollection is just seeing blue sky. We continued to tumble and then the horizon came into view and we were falling face first, arms out back arched. I just kept screaming! I looked forward and could see the camera guy in a sitting possition falling just a few meters in front. I screamed. I looked down, and screamed, I looked up, and screamed. HOLY SHIT!!!!!! The rush was just amazing - you can't really describe it? How? It's like falling out of an aeroplane - thats all!

We fell about 2 miles in around a minute and then the parachute opened. It felt like about 10 seconds it was over so quickly. We floated down and hit the beach on our arses at about 100mph - we left a gouge along the beach about 1ft deep and about 10ft long!!

What an experiance!? Just do it. There is no other way.

Oh yeah, and I went White water rafting yesterday, which was nice.

I actually made some plans! Today I booked a bus back to Sydney with as many stops as I like. First stop is Mission Beach where I have booked a tandem skydive with an upgrade to 14,000ft (which is the highest that you can go legally & without oxygen apparently - hee hee!) And also a grade 4 white water rafting trip on the Tully River. No doubt I'll splash out (I mean abuse my cc) for videos of these as well... Can't wait! I also booked a 3 day sailing trip around the Whitsundays (Which are named incorrectly by the way. Capt. Cook - being a bit thick - forgot to take into account that he had crossed the date line and in fact he discovered them on normal Saturday!) And a 2 day trip around Frasier island - and then I had better get my arse down to Sydney and find some work sharpish!

Well thats the plan anyway - it feels a bit odd having a plan actually - I don't think that I like it. Feels like I'm tied down all of a sudden!

I just noticed that there seems to be a lack of wildlife in my Reef diving photos, I hope no one was expecting any!?

Well, just got back off das boat out on the Great Barief Reef. Actually The Kangaroo Explorer was it's name, which is odd because I didn't see any out there, Kangaroos that is. Didn't see any sharks either which is a bit dissapointing, saw giant turtles though chomping away on the coral which was cool. The diving was great actually, viz wasn't perfect but it was great fun. I bought a video of the course, so you can all really look forward to having me explain every little detail to you when I get home!!

Only got thrown overboard once - for refering to the captain as Seaman Stains, I think he saw the funy side mind! Nearly got another dunking for refering to the Regulator as the "Helps you breath tubey thing" but I got out of that one! (My ears are destroyed - they keep doing this anoying poppy thing) - I added some photo's! Wow! They start at page 5 of the photo's if you fancy a gander...

Got to book a ticket of some sort out of Cairns, been here long enough now and I have to start heading back to Sydney - Mission Beach 1st stop for Skydiving I reckon... See how it goes...

p.s. Shitted in the Woolshed again last night!!! YEAH BOY!!!

Just another quick note - weather is cooler now thank something - still hot and humid mind. I've just finished the 2nd day of a 5 day dive dourse, I'm spending the next 3 days aboard a boat on the Great Barrier Reef finishing the course so next time I'm on dry land I'll be a qualified fishman.

You see the trouble with fish is that they aren't very versitile. They can swim about and forget things very quickly, but I can learn how to do that in a couple of days. But if you asked a fish to come, say, Fell Walking - useless! Can't hold a map! And doesn't have even the most basic of orienteering skills. (Steve Coogan, circa 1992)

Sorry, got distracted. Next update when I can breath through my ears...

Just a quick one. Just got back from Cape tribulation - Where the Rain Forest meets the Reef - Amazingly beautiful place, very hot & very humid. Saw a wild Cassowary (huge 4ft+ dinosaur type bird thing & very dangerous apparently) took lots of short walks and took photo's of beautiful empty white sand beaches with overhanging palms. Also went on a Aborigonal walk to see how they lived in the forest and costal areas. And a Crocodile cruise up the Daintree river - only saw one Croc mind - it's too hot for them at the mo apparently. That is all. J.

I flew to Alice Springs on the 6th January. Checked into Malanka's and booked a 1 day West MacDonnell Range tour on the 8th and a 3 day Red Centre tour for the 9th. Met an American guy in the room and we went and had Pizza and jugs of VB in the resturant/ bar/ nigthclub with a couple of other people that he had met. We then went down to a pub called Bojangles in Alice which is a pretty cool place with a live cover band. We drank until 1 ish.

On the 7th I chilled out around Alice - climbed Anzac Hill which is a memorial to Austrailia's war dead and has great views. Walked alond part of the Todd river - which is dry, and then just chilled ny the pool had some dinner and an early night.

Up at 5:30am for a 1 day tour of the West MacDonnell Ranges - this was a fantastic day trip taking in loads of short walks (Ghost Gum Walk) and water holes. The scenery is amazing and to be able to chill off every little while in the water holes is amazing. One of them Ellen Big Hole I think it is called was quite amazing - there was a gum tree that you could jump from and a gorge that you could swim through to a tiny beautifull beach the other side. Amazing and well worth the trip, in the evening we all had a meal together - included in the trip, with a few beers and the another arly night.

Up at 5:00am the next day for the Red centre tour. First off a long drive to King Canyon and a long walk (8k's ish) in 36 degrees (shade temperature) this included some amazing views and another swim in a water hole at a place they call The "Garden of Eden", and when you see it you understand why. The geology and the ground you walk on is hundreds of millions of years old and some of the plants have been growing there since the the of the dinosaurs. You have to see the photos! There was a range of people on the tour and one guy Jean-Pierre (JP) who is 28 and a Chatholic Priest from a small village on the Swiss side of the Matterhorne is a bit of a Yodel expert. We sat around this 200 million year old water hole deep down in the Canyon and he sang his Yodel - the acoustic was amazing, and yet another incredible experiance. We swam through the water hole over a small ridge through another small waterhole and the we appeared out on top of a waterfall. It was dry but during rain it empties 90% of the water that fall on the Range into the Canyon it was about 90 meters high and the view was amazing!! Later in the day we set up the camp site, and myself and a girl called Sarah took a helicopter flight at sunset over where we had been walking - this was an amazing end to the day because everything that we had seen and had been told during the day made sense from the air - you could see the shapes and patterns. The way that the canyon had been formed etc. Incredable experiance. We cooked dinner on a camp fire, chatted, had a few beers admired the amazing night sky and fell asleep in Swags around the fire. I felt this amazing sense of satisfaction, I'm not sure why but it just felt so right, sleeping under the stars next to the glowing remains of a campfire that had provide us with both warmth and dinner. Having seen so much beauty during the day and again as the stars came out, it just felt right and I really didn't want the moment to end...

Up early again and a tour of the Olga's which in another amazing range of rocks much lite Uluru but in many parts. Also sacred to the Aborigonies(I still can't spell it!) We took some walks and I took another 1000 or so photos! We set up our new camp had a quick swim in the campsite pool and headed out to Uluru to watch the sunset. How do you describe this? We watched the sunset over Uluru with a glass of Champagne. To have to experiance it. I led a sing-song on the bus back to the campsite! All the old classics! ;) Dinner around the campfire again, and I busted out the magic which went down a treat around the fire, and JP Yodeled for us. We all slept out in the open again. Amazing. On the final day we got up early and watched the sun rise over Uluru. Some people climbed it, but the Aborigonies ask u not to so most of us walked around it. And we visited the cultural centre etc. and learned about the culture which really is quite amazing and how Uluru is so sacred. I took another heli flight over the rock at midday and was then dropped off at the airport.

I flew into Cairns yesterday found a room at Bellview right down by the wharf and slept from 10pm until 5pm today!!! Shattered. I have a bit of a cold so another early nigth tonight then hopefully a diving course and a trip up to Cape Tribulation...

Must go, this has taken me hours and it's sooo hot I lost concentration hours ago so it's probably a complete mess. Anyway, take care people... J

Lara and Catherine were leaving the house on the 3rd so on the 2nd I was out again saying goodbye to then. We went down to Cargo in Darling harbour and then to Scruffy Murphies, because it's the only place that we could be sure was open. Another great night out, there was perhaps a group of 20 of us - mostly Irish I have to add! Lara and Catherine left the next day.

Living in Bondi was great the house was on Old South Head road about 5-6 mins walk from Bondi - so most mornings/ afternoons I would pull on my swimmers a t-shirt and flip-flops grab a towel and wander down to the beach. Sorry folks but it's the greatest feeling in the world wandering the 5 mins to Bondi, with absolutely no worries what-so-ever except what the next party is going to be...! heehee! I met everyone down at the Bondi hotel on the 5th Jan -the night before I left for Alice and had a few bye-for-now drinks.

New Year in Sydney. A Few of us met at Jo's and then we all made our way down to Circular Quay - which is the main ferry terminal and central point down on the harbour. We had a few drinks and watched the early fireworks at 9pm. Then we all made our way around to the main event Harbour Beats at Wharf 3 just around the corner from Cantral Quay. We had a bit of a truma getting in but eventually we made it. We got drinks and found a good spot to watch the main firworks. Which really were amazing! To suddenly see the bridge light up after seeing it so many times on TV is amazing.

The party was cool - pretty standard arena party with loads of DJ's and wandering about chatting to people then bumping into people that your with and having a good old boogie.

We left at 5:30am and people went their seperate ways - I went with El (a girl Jo was travelling with) her mate Paul, her brother Andy and other of their friends; Craig to their house for some after party banter. A little later Andrea (who I met with Lisa in Thai) and a couple of her mates came around also. We drank some cold wine and played silly games until the early hours. Andrea and her mates left at about 10 and the rest of us went down to the Bondi hotel to meet Lucy and Ciara two other Irish girls that we had met and Jay. We sat around - had a few more drinks! I left for home & much needed sleep at around 1pm on new years day - it had been a long party, and great fun! I got up later that day and met everyone back down at the Bondi hotel to celebrate a great new year. We sat out the front under the fairy lights in the warm air - laughing and joking about the nights events until 4am...

Shattered.

Well for some reaso I haven't been able to find anywhere that would let me access my Sliminaus admin page. All the internet cafes over here are far too cautious with what pages you can access and I think the word 'Admin' puts the fear of god into them!!!!

Anyway here goes with the memory stretch...:

Hmm, Christmas day, well Jo has a nice house with a Pool so it was the obvious location to start the day. There where about 10 or 12 of us there at around midday. Everyone exchanged presents and we got stuck into the barbie and the booze! Someone had been given a pump action water squirter & I had taken some Gordon's Gin and the obligatory Tonic so we combined the two - with a squeeze of Lemon of course - to create the perfect "Ozzie Xmas G&T Squirt Game!!!" - I have some great photos if your having difficulty imagining the scene! The barbie was great and we all cooled down in the pool after. Well it was xmas day in Oz and so Bondi was calling. We collected up all the booze and called for some cabs. I was in a cab with 3 Irish lads who are mates of Jo's bfriend so inevatably we had most of the booxe with us. There were stories that there was a booze ban on Bondi on xmas day sowe were just keeping our fingers crossed. We got dropped off at the car park and decided to move all the beer into the eskey (cool box) with a bag of ice. So we loaded it up - it all just fitted perfect. One of the lad picked it up and disaster - the damn thing broke spilling about 2 slabs of VB and a tonne of ice all over the car park!!!! it went every where lubricated by the ice water the can skidded off all over the place! Then just to add to the situation a police 4x4 turned up just as we were surveying the situation! "Oh shit" was the collective expression. The police stopped and the copper nearest to us wound down his window; "You guys need a hand picking that lot up?" Phew! That was lucky, obviously no ban, either that or they couldn't be bothered to enforce it! We spent the rest of the day mucking about on the beach - It was full of travellers and foreigners hardly any ozzies I think. All wearing father christmas hats and siting under blowup xmas trees. We sang carol's and drank and played with the squirter and genarally had a very good day out. There was even a huge Conga going at one point must have been 100 or so people all dancing down the beach....

I have no reccolection of what happened between xmas and new year. I can say with confidence that it was more of the same. Oh, on boxing day a few of us met up in Hyde park messed about for a bit and then went to Jo's to have a "finish of the food" barbie. And on the 27th I moved out of the Hostel in King X and moved into a house in Bondi with Lisa - who I met in Thailand and 4 Irish girls - 2 of which were renting the place and 2 who were also scrounging floor space. Dee & Eimear are the other 2 who rent and Lara and Catherine were the other 2.

Have you seen that video? Christ! I hadn't seen it until the other day, nearly fell off me chair.

Flyer for NYE if anyone fancies coming down ;) http://www.harbourbeats.com/

What's the world record for most consecutive night out? Cookie, you know all the records look it up for me will you?

Shark bar tonight - $2 scooners (which are for girls really, but you can't be shy for 80p)

DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE OVER XMAS

Bondi here I come...

Ok peeps, just a quick one as all the days are rolling into one huge mash up! I have no idea what day it is - someone told me the other day that it's xmas soon though, so befor I forget **HAPPY CHRISTMAS** to you all.

The "been out every night thing" still continues. I met Suzy (from home) the night befor last at the Beach Rd. Hotel in Bondi - usual night out story - loads of fun. She new a guy there who was with a girl that I new from Nottingham! Madness! She recognised me first, it's weird how these things keep happening. Jen - for those of u that were at Notts (used to go out with Colin).

Met up with a couple of girls that I met in Thailand last night (Andrea and Lisa), stayed in for a bit, catching up and playing drinking games then went to the Bondi Hotel for loads of dancing and drinking.

Had a couple of great days down on the beach thwe waves have been huge - especially today - upto 6 ft, maybe bigger! Impossible to swim you just get bashed around but we had great fun. Even saw the lifeguards in action - they went charging out on their boards and stuff to rescue some kiddies that had been pulled out. The rips are knarly dudes. At around 6 they closed the beach off - decided that it was too dangerous. We stayed in though because I'm big and strong enough not to get caught in them. (sorry, joke mum - I was the 1st out it was bloody dangerous if you ask me!)

Anyway gotta go, meeting some people down in Darling Harbour tonight. Oh yeah - we got tickets for a New Years party down on the harbour "Harbour Beats" it's called - "The sunset, sunrise party" it's 6pm until 6am so you get to see the sunset, and you can see the bridge so we will see all the midnight fireworks etc. over the harbour and then you get to see the sunrise on the new year just befor 6am. Happy dayz.

"We continue..."

HAPPY XMAS EVERYBODY :)

Sydney Rocks!! Arrived at 3:30 on Saturday and got searched like I've never known at the airport. Every single item came out of my bag and I got questioned all of it. No contraband, but a pair of knickers that mysteriously made their way into my bag caused a few raised eyebrows!! Jamped on the no. 350 and I soon had a room in Kings Cross. Phoned Jo (friend from E. Grinstead) and arranged to meet up, I have to add that travelling 1/2 way arround the world through all sorts of time zones and countries and languages was far far easier than meeting Jo at "The top end of Bridge St."!! Anyway, about 2hrs later we finaly bumped into each other! We met with more of her friends and went toabar called the "Slip Inn" haha and then onto the Bristol Hotel where they have a huge 5 floor club and a quality 70's and 80's night. They played all the old classics and we had an absolutely brilliant night, drank tomuch of course and stumbled home at 5am ish. (Oh yeah, and the girl's here are amazing!!)

I went to Sydney auqarium with Nick (mate from home) and his mate Jay on sunday, we messed about there for a few hours. We got to see loads of starfish - "oh look, theres a chocholate one!" and I found out that if you stand on a sea anenamie (how the hell do you spell that??) you have to piss on it because the amonia or something makes it let go. We had an interesting debate with one of the guides about the merits of getting someone else to do it for you, but thats another story...

We met Jo in the Commodore hotel in Neutral Bay - a short ferry trip across the harbour away - afterwards and then met some more people and went up to "The Oak" wich is a huge pub where you select a huge steak and then cook it yourself on one of the BBQ's outside in a big courtyard which is built around an achient Oak tree. The meat was amazing and we sat around all night drinking lots of chilled white wine. Jo and I shared a taxi home.

I wandered around the harbour yesterday and took photos of the bridge and Opera house. Then I walked around Farm Cove which is at the edge of the Botanical gardens and is absolutely beautiful - it overlooks the harbour, and I sat in the sun and read my bookfor most of the afternoon. I came home showered and then met Jo and everyone else at the "Golden Sheaf" in Double Bay, just around from the main harbour. We ate and drank and chatted and played pool for a few hours and then got a taxi to a club called Empire in Kings Cross - all drinks $2!! 80p a pint! Oops! Stumbled home at some stupid hour yet again!

What a great intro into Sydney :) Meeting Jo and co. again later and I'm meeting up with a girl I met in Thailand on Friday. Sydney is nice and warm but it rained today. Must go and get ready to go out again now... Take care everyone J.

Tuesday 11th, I got up early for the "Day in The Bay" cruise. This was a great day out we saw dolphins - the 1st pod had a tiny baby, apparently just a few days old. It looked funny swimming along with the adults, it was maybe just a foot long. Then we motored out to the "Hole in The Rock", which is a hole in a rock, pretty good though and the boat actually motors through the hole. We then cruised around some of the islands and bays and soon came acros another pod of dolphins, this time no babies so we were allowed to jumpo in and go for a swim. They weren't particuly playful but it was amazing to see them swim past so close and so gracefullly. We also went "Boom Netting", basically a big fishing net that they dray beside the boat and you can jump into and hold on and get dragged about, great fun. We stopped for lunch in a lovely bay and Rob the captain and one of the staff got their guitars out and played for an our or so. We cruised around some more after lunch via some more dolphins and more swimming then returned back to Paihai via Russell at around 4pm. Went for dinner and a beer with an American girl that I met that evening and we ended up playing pool with all sorts of people in the bar.

I drove back through Auckland and down to Waitomo on Wednesday. There are some amazing caves full of glowworms in Waitomo. I arrived after a six hour drive and booked into a small lodge type place. I booked a "Black Water Rafting" tour for tomorrow.

Black Water Rafting is basically floating down an underground river on an old inner tube! I got to the meeting point an 9am on thursday and we got dressed up in wetsuits, hard hats complete with lights and funny non-slip boots. Then we got fitted with inner tubes and we had to test them out by jumping backwards off an 8ft pier onto the tubes in the river. Then a short walk upto the start of the tour, a small river dissapears through a small hole in the rock - we clambered through. It really is one of the most amazing things inside, the rock just opens up into these huge caverns. We had to do some walking and jumping down water falls but we also spend time floating along on the rings - at one point you had to lay right back and the gap between the water and the cave roof was just acouple of feet. Then we came to a section where everyone in the group had to link up with everyone putting their feet up onto the inner tube of the person in front. We all turned our lights out and layed back. This was the most amazing part of the tour, as you look up you can see hundreds of ting glowworms - bright specks of light covering the roof and walls of the cave, it's like looking up at the night sky. And all the while we were slowly drifting along this underground river, it was chilly - you could see your breath - but the stunned silence punctuated only by a slow drip of water from the roof made the whole experiance quite amazing. The light is actually the worms excretion - don't ask me how that works - but it also has another job. They feed by trapping small insects that fly into the caves, they are attracted by the light from the worms and as they fly towards it they are trapped in sticky threads that the worms make and hang from the ceiling.

The tour drew to an end and suddenly you are aware of a bright source of light at the end of the passage. You slowly drift down and before you know it you are bathed in a warm light as you reappear into daylight in the middle of this amazing forest full of palm trees. A short journey back to the start, changed and then hot soup and toasted bagels to warm up. Absolutely brilliant.

I had to leave pretty sharpish as my hire car had to be returned, so I drove back to Auckland feeling very happy. I dropped the car off, met up with Jamie and Susie and that evening we went to watch Harry Potter. I stuffed myself with Popcorn, M&M's and Coke. :)

I played golf with Jamie on friday at this amazing course - very hilly surrounded by forest. I even parred 2 holes! That evening we ate take-out and sat in the garden drinking until late...

So. Jamie (a mate from ShopSmart for those who don't know) meet me at Auckland airport and we drove back to his place made somne lunch and sat in the sun in the garden. A beautiful day, he lives on the side of Mount Eden a very old and very extinct volcano. There were a few small white fulffy clouds whizzing by so close if felt like you could reach out and touch them. It was such a nice day we decided tomnake the most of it and we got the bus into town and went up in the Sky Tower, Aucklands centre piece and the tallest building in the southern hemisphere (their very proud of this!) Amazing views as you would expect and a great way to get orientated. We met Susie - Jamie's girlfriend - after and we went down to the Viaduct which is the harbour where the Americas cup was held, and proceded to spend the afternoon and evening sitting in the harbour admiring the boats as the sun went down - and had a few beers!

We drove to Karekare on friday beautiful waterfall, and beach and also Piha another amazing beach with a huge Lion shaped rock "guarding" the bay. We even stopped for icecream on the way :) That night we went toa a few bars and then to a club called Fubar to see a French DJ called Kid Loco, very amuzing mix of music his 1st tune was "Pump up the volume" - for those of you that like toknow that sort of thing. Had a few beers of course and came home at 3ish.

I went to Aucklands Underwater World and Antarctic Experiance on Saturday, there is an great permanent exhibition about Scott of the Antarctic and a ride that takes you through a "replicated" Antarctic environment complete with real snow, freezing temperatures and Penguines. Underwater World is just as you imaging complete with moving walkway under glass tunnel - lots of sharks and stuff...

We walked up "One Tree Hill" on Sunday, it's an old Maori sacred place high up on another extinct volcano. There is a huge monument to Maori achievement but the tree, as in "One Tree Hill" died some years back and hasn't been replaced yet, so in fact there an no trees on One Tree Hill! Then we drove up to Mission Bay, another beach and we sat and at the "fabled" fish and chips. Very Nice.

Monday 10th December - the day I killed a horse, indirectly, sort of. I hired a car for a few days to go on a bit of a road trip. First I headed north to the Bay of Islands (It's a bay full of islands), an amazing drive through incredable scenery and fantastic views, lots of forest and palm trees.

I arrived at 3 and booked into a dorm room, there were 2 English girls there already and they were just of on a horse trek, they asked if I wanted to go along. Of course I didn't, I'm not going near those damn dangerous things. Anyway they persuaded me - wouldn't take no for an answer - and of we went. It was just down the road and after 10 or 15 minutes of basic instruction we set off. It was partly shady in the trees but still very hot, my horse didn't seem to be enjoying itself - it's head was down and it seemed to keep nearly slipping. After 40 mins or so just as I was begining to feel vaguely at home on the stupid thing the damn mutts legs just seemed to go from under it and I got flung off! Luckly we were on a gentle slope and it slid down the slope so I didn't get crushed!! The guide was in front then the two girls, they obviously heard the commotion - I was a bit shaken but all I could do was shout "Help! I think I've killed my Pony!" The guide quickly came over and after making sure that I was okay took a look at what I thought was now an ex-nag. It soon got to it's feet (hooves/ paws/ whatever) and she informed me that it weas just tired, I was actually quite relieved and started to laugh. The guide didn't seem very happy at that and suggest that if I returned to the stable I could get a refund, while she took the girls on! She directed me to a short cut and gave me the half dead nags lead. "Don't try to ride him" she shouted as I walked off - She needn't have worried! The guys in the stable looked a little shocked but soon gave me my $15 back. I walked into town and booked onto a much safer boat trip for the following day. I'll remember to stay well away from "living" transport next time!!!!

I walked around the small town of Paihai - the main town in the Bay of Islands for a short while and soon found a nice beach bar, and sat and read my Lonely Planet. The Bay of Islands is significant because apart from the amazing scenery and the coast line of 150 or so islands it is where the treaty of Waitangi was drawn up and signed by 46 Maori chiefs in 1840. Basically they agreed tobe ruled by England (Our Queen, the Queen of England and most gratious ruler of the British Empire and Empress of India) and we promised to stop mudering their wives, beating their children and stop wiping out the Seal and Whale populations. Apparently some Maori's objected to the treaty, so we killed them. This was of course all after the tribal warfare that we started by introducing firearms had ended. Half of them had died due to western diesease that we introduced, and they had been "Spiritualy Assulted" by our christian missionaries. Sounds like a bum deal to me! It also turns out that the main driving force for the treaty was just so that we could stop the French getting it first!

Lucky they play quits, hey!?

Right I'm gonna make a start to this, is gonna be a bit of an epic because I haven't updated for so long, I think I'll do it in parts so here goes pt.1:

Okay, get up-to-date with the end of Tokyo...

Monday 3rd Dec we're on now I think, pretty much took it easy. We went down to Ikabukero did some window shopping had some lunch, played mad Jap arcade machines - like bus driving and one game where you hold a can of spray and you have to kill flies by spraying it at them - very weird. In the evening we went to K's parents again for a Fondu type meal but everythik is cooked in boiling water instead of oil, very nice and you get to drink the soup that is left in the bowl afterwards. Fantastic.

Tuesday 4th Dec - my birthday - Ian and I met Keiko it an area of Tokyo where there is a market street a bit like Carnaby St. except amusingly it's called Takeshita St. "hoho". Then in true Japanese style we went to Pizza Express! Actually it was great to have some non-noodle & rice food. Bruschetta, American Hot, lots of red wine and lemon sorbet - you know the score. Fantastic. Then we went to the "Movie Cafe", drank beer, half watched bits of LA Confidential and played Pool. Keiko went home after and Ian and I did a bit of a bar tour - Rendevous/ Gas Panic (Named after the Tokyo subway gas attack! Nice!)/ Envy. Needless to say we got a taxi back early next morning somewhat worse for wear!

Wednesday, called Jamie in Auckland arranged to meet him at the airport and hopped on the Skyline back to the airport but nursing a sore head this time. :)

Oh dear, run out of steam already, more tomorrow...

It’s been a quieter week than last, well as far as I can remember it has! I’ll just get my brain in gear and I’ll try really hard to recall what the hell I’ve been doing…

On Saturday – I think that we’re on the 24th Nov. now – We spent the day relaxing, and watching TV, in the evening we met up with Tomako in Shiboya again and cruised a few bars before going to see our new friends in Envy - the staff have started to recognise us! - One of the doormen, an English lad called Alex, even bought us some complimentary drinks. Which was nice.

On Sunday, we had lunch at Keiko’s parents which was lovely – lots of Japanese/ Chinese food; noodles, soup, omelette and the like. Afterwards Ian, Keiko and I went to Shiboya did a little shopping and then went to the Cinema and watched Swordfish – Which is a film.

Hmm, Monday. How do I start to explain Monday? I’ll start with some background shall I? - Ian had been invited to a “Football promotion evening” through the British Football Club of Japan, he didn’t know the details but basically there was supposed (rumoured, is perhaps a better word) to be and as much as you can eat and drink for 3000 Yen, oh yeah and some football stuff. We turned up a little early and the hall - which was a large plush presentation suite in a very nice hotel - was pretty much empty, we decided to pay anyway as people were sure to turn up later. We found a table with some stools and sat down, we were then greeted by a Japanese guy called Tommy who explained that they were producing a television show about the English Premiership and this was supposed to be a big promotion. Good start, and there was food - well crisps and the like, but there was a huge tub of ice filled with Beer which he kindly told us to help ourselves to.

Two English lads came and joined us as did two of Ian’s friends from the football club. An hour later, and the tub of Beer had been emptied once and re-filled by two of the many staff that seemed to be floating around but nobody else had turned up! It was still just us six. Tommy came over a little sheepishly and explained that there had been a mix-up with the video and that is why the many TV’s in the room were all showing the Japanese version of the show and not the English, he assured us that people were coming at 8 and disappeared again. An hour later, another tub of ice cold beer, and it all started to get interesting.

The night was obviously a balls up, there was still only the six of us and our 18000 Yen wasn’t even going to cover the beer that we had drunk let alone the suite and the prize draw etc. that was supposed to happen. Tommy re-appeared in “Japanese apologise mode”. I would have been happy to call it a day and go home, but Tommy started on his apology – how he had had such little time to promote it and the English video hadn’t arrived and how he had wasted our very, very important time – at one point he even got on his knees – the poor bloke. He then said that to make for it he had booked us a Karaoke Box and some food, and more beer! Well, seeing as I have no idea what a gift horse’s mouth looks like we took up the offer and followed one of his helpers – Ray – to the Karaoke. You have to understand that these rooms are very expensive (pounds 100+ p/h), and this one was in a very plush hotel. Waiters bought us food – Pasta, and Fish and Meat and Salad and more Beer and we got stuck into the Karaoke. After 20 minutes or so Tommy and all his TV Producer buddies joined us as did some of his other staff and a couple of randoms.

We had an absolute riot – it’s amazing what a free meal does for you! We took it in turns to sing English then Japanese and we made the most of the free drinks - Just look at the photos! After a couple of hours the time was up and we had a round of mutual appreciation speeches, we complemented them on Japanese hospitality – this was heart felt and very genuine I can promise you! And they even wished us good luck in the World Cup! Ian and I were feeling very good at this stage and although the other English lads had to leave (they had to work in the morning – suckers!) we decided to go on somewhere else so we asked a few of them to join us at another bar. A guy (I can’t remember his name) and two girls – Ray and Leiko – took us up on our offer. The guy knew someone that worked at a nearby bar so that is where we went. We drank cocktails and played darts and messed about, told jokes, did tricks etc. When we came to leave the guy had a word with his mate and we ended up with more very cheap drinks!! We left there and took them to Envy, much more messing about and drinking – no discounts this time – and we left in the early morning sun! Happy as drunken Shrimps.

It was a great night – one of those where you expect nothing but it turns out to be an absolute blinder.

On Tuesday I recovered.

We went out for yokiniku on Wednesday night with K’s parents, it’s very similar to Fondu, but you cook on hot grills set into the tables instead of in Oil. I wore a white T-Shirt which due to chopstick errors wasn’t white when I left! – I walked out of that restaurant looking like a 2 year old that had just had a “Choo-Choo” dinner from mummy! It’s easy enough going from plate to mouth now but all this messing about cooking seemed to confuse my fingers, I even got cramp in my fingers at one stage! Ian, who has had over 6 months practice, even managed to get some on *my* shoulder!!!

On Thursday we went to Motown - a bar in Shiboya, and then tried to get into a club called Yellow to see a top Japanese band called “Love Physcadelica” or something, unfortunately we could only get in a place where you couldn’t see the stage. We called it a day and came home.

We did nothing on Friday day, and ate at Heavy Foot in the evening. I experienced my first Earthquake on Friday night, a short gentle earthquake but it was enough to wake me up. I was pretty sleepy and didn’t really realise until we spoke about it in the morning.

Keiko had a early xmas party on Saturday, we watched the draw for the world cup (I only mention this because of the photo of Ian) and then got down to some serious miss-behaving. I won’t go into it in detail – just take a look at the photos. Mostly we were playing silly games - Ian has a game where you push a Samurai into a barrel and then the players take it in turn to push swords into the barrel through slots in the side. One of the slots causes the Samurai to pop out which in turn causes us to use that as an excuse to give that lucky person a forfeit and something nice to drink.

We treated Sunday like a Sunday after a party. There was another Earthquake a 6.3 in northern Japan which was about a 3 or 4 in Tokyo – the whole flat shook for 10 or 15 seconds, I was pretty scared this time!

Well that’s bought us up-to-date, I would read through what I have written but it’s very late and I can’t be bothered – so sorry for any mistakes, maybe I’ll fix them tomorrow.

Take care everyone… J.

Hello Peeps, right, how to sum up a week and a bit of messing about in Tokyo? I think this is going to be a long one… Ok, I got to Tokyo and met Ian with no problems at all, apart from a small language barrier thing at customs. The customs guy soon realised however that the more he said the more confused I was, and so he soon changed his mind that I looked dodgy and needed searching. (BTW for those of you who don’t know Ian is a friend from home that now lives in Tokyo with his girlfriend (Keiko) – I am staying with them while I’m here)

Got back to Ian and Keiko’s after an hour or so on the Skyline (that’s a train, but not in the Network South East sense of the word “Train”!) Dumped my stuff and we headed out to a restaurant, a wicked place with a little bit of Japanese weirdness - you can choose whether to eat in Heaven or Hell, we chose Hell, so you have to bang on a big symbol three times and ask to be let in. We had a great meal and a pitcher of beer. The toilets had singing urinals!! When you started to have a pee the whole urinal started to dance and a head appeared from the wall in front of you and sang! Bizarre, but all good fun.

I slept late on Thursday, and put my feet up and watched TV, in the evening we went out and ate Ramin (100% chance that that is spelt wrong) - Japanese noodle soup with pork and beef and spices and seaweed, all very nice – except the seaweed obviously. Then we went to a few bars, tried loads of different drinks, played table football, and met the Finnish Transport minister!!! God knows what he was doing in this bar, I got chatting to a girl who it turned out was his translator, so I asked her to introduce me which she did. He had about 4 or 5 people with him, another guy that I chatted to was organising his transport etc., god knows what the rest were doing. He seemed to be mid to late 40’s but the rest were younger late 20’s, early 30’s maybe. I thought that it must be a wind up at first but they were all definitely Finnish and they all seemed to know their jobs. He even recommended another bar to me! Anyway we ended up in a bar/ club called Envy until 5am, great fun. We got the1st tube home in the morning and went to bed around 6 ish.

Played 5-a-side in the park in Saturday afternoon, chilly evening, but it was lovely to be out in the chill as the sun set, turning the few clouds in the sky pink as the baseball teams packed up their kit and headed home. After playing football all the players headed to one of Ian’s friends Sushi bars, a few of them spoke some English which was handy and they were all very friendly. Here I had my first major chopstick fuck up, not sure what happened but stick no.2 managed to launch itself out of my hand and onto the floor some 3 or 4 meters away - they all seemed to think that it was very funny anyway. We drank a few beers and I tried most of the Sushi - Its weird, what else can I say? The different types of Sushi ranged from eatable to “Pepper spray for the mouth”, needless to say I’m not a huge fan, but I’m told that it’s an acquired taste so maybe I’ll try it again before I leave...

On Sunday, Keiko’s friends Miyuki and her brother Yoshi, Minniko and her fella Richard came around and we all went to Keiko’s parents for dinner – Loads of food, beer and whiskey and even some Chinese liquor that is a favourite of Keiko’s dad (Can’t remember what it’s called). Afterwards we went to a bar called “With” and played pool and darts and drank more…

Ian and I went to Asakusa on Monday, there are Japanese temples and shrines and you can do lots of traditional Japanese things like ride in a Rickshaw, and buy fortunes according to your blood type, and lots of tourist shops of course. We wandered around for a few hours, then sat and drank Coffee and came home. That evening two more of Keiko’s friends came around, Chie & Moe, they and Miyuki cooked dinner for us all; burgers and rice and potatoes and Japanese style sauce, we ate and drank wine and it was all very nice. Later we went to “With” again, and I thrashed everyone at pool again, and did very badly at darts - again.

We went to a baseball “driving range” on Tuesday. The balls get flung at you at about 1 zillion miles an hour from a screen at one side of the “range” and you have to smack them back without having parts of your body removed in the process. It’s hard. I hit one I think. Well, kind of a nick technically I suppose… Then we tried the pitching “range” – you stand on a mound and you have to hit the different sections of a target to put all the lights out. It’s harder. Ian and I took turns and I’m not joking when I say we had bowled - sorry pitched - 5 balls each and the machine was still saying “please make your first pitch” – It didn’t even recognise that we had thrown the damn ball!!! Bloody hell it’s impossible, but anyway we had a great laugh – especially when Ian hit the target of the guy next to us by mistake!!

Did nothing Wednesday, on Thursday Ian and I went to an English pub for lunch. We ate fish and chips and drank beer in pints!! That evening we met Keiko and her friend Tommako in a place called the Elephant Café, we finished off the food and had a few drinks. Afterwards we met Richard and Minniko in a club called “Sugar High” small place, hard house type music from a mad Japanese DJ complete with bandanna and “American gangster” groupies (Some of them love to dress like that – but for some reason they don’t convince you that they are quite as “dangerous” as the real thing) we stayed for an hour or so, then I had my first experience of the “Japanese Karaoke Torture”. We left and went to a Karaoke bar where you hire a little room with a Karaoke machine and have to order drinks by telephone to the bar – Actually I must admit that it was great fun. The boys sang English “classic” Karaoke songs (Queen, Abba, Barry Manilow, Village People, Oasis) and the girls sang Japanese and English love songs. Great fun, oh and we drank quite a lot of beer as well…

We got up early on Friday!!!! It was a Japanese national holiday so no one was working. We met Minniko and Richard and got on the train to Nikko where there is a “Classic Japanese Culture and History Theme Park” if that makes any sense (It’s based around the Japanese Edo period, and it’s where the original “See no evil. Hear no evil. Speak no evil” monkeys came from). We spent most of the day there, we ate Japanese food – noodles, soup etc., had a look at the exhibits and architecture and then we went to see a traditional Japanese Ninja show. It was in Japanese so I won’t tell you what happened – because I have no idea, but it was very entertaining anyway. Then we left and we went to have “Onsen” – That’s a traditional Japanese hot spring water bath. Basically you get naked and get in a huge very hot communal bath (men & women are segregated - unfortunately) a bit like a rugby bath but the surroundings are all in luxury Japanese style, bamboo and stone. Perhaps one of the most relaxing things I’ve ever done - lovely. Then I got out and had a large cold beer :) We got the train home (3hrs) and went to “Heavy Foot” an American bar where Keiko used to work. We ate burgers and chips and had a beer, and then I did a few magic tricks which went down a treat…

Right, I knew that this would go on for a bit; going to get some more photos developed now, take care everyone...

I left bangkok on monday 12th Nov. after another night out in Gullivers. Somehow a quite large group of people seemed to evolve out of nowhere so it was difficult to leave on Sunday night - There where about 8 or 10 if us - all people who Id met along the way and people that we ran into that day or on that night. Amoung them were two girls from Leeds who had won a trip to Tokyo on a BBC gameshow and were just stopping off on their way for a few days, an American, two canny Geordie lasses and plenty of people on their way to Oz. We had a few beers and swapped some email addresses, I finally left the pub at 2 ish and got a little sleep. I found a Taxi at 6 ish the next morning and made the flight to Singapore with time to spare.

I had a bit of a trauma finding somewhere to stay in Singapore - Eventually working out that the Lonely Planet that I had nicked off the bookshelf at home was in fact 10 years old and that the Singapore government has been pulling down hostels for a similar amount of time! Even some of the buildings are no longer there - let alone the hostels that according to my guide were supposed to be in them!!! I eventually found somewhere and payed for a night, it was a grotty place so I decided to dump my stuff have a shower and look for somewhere better for the next few nights. I asked around a bit and found somewhere with air-con and a shower, so I booked in for the following 2 nights. I returned to the first place changed and went for a wander.

Singapore is a weird place, it was very hot 30 degrees, but so neat, tidy and organised. No litter, no tramps, and the streets are quite with modern well maintained cars. Absolutely no J-Walking, even with a clear road for miles in both directions the pedestrians wait patiently for the green man! The roads are all organised in an efficient one-way grid system. No pubs or bars that I could see, and very, very few backpackers, I was beginning to wonder what I was going to do...

Then the weirdest thing - people had told me that this would happen but its still weird when it does. I was just crossing a road when I spotted two English looking lads, I was just deciding whether to go say hello when one of them shouted over to me "James!". Shit, it was a lad (Tommo) that I knew from Nottingham! Madness, but I was very glad to see a friendly face. I spent the next couple of days in Singapore hanging around with him and his mate (they were on their way to Oz - Just like everyone else I have met - The place is going to be full!). We took a tour around Singapore on the "Hop-On" bus, went on a Night Safari in a tiny piece of rain forest - in typical Singapore fashion however even the forest has tarmac paths and is very well signposted!!! Visited Clarke Quay in the finance district, drank Singapore Slings (Now Singapore Slims) in the "Long Room" of Raffels hotel and visited Sentosa island (A Disney type resort island). Oh, and drank a few Tiger beers and ate anything and everything Sweet and Sour!

After 2 days Tommo and his mate were leaving for Australia and I decided that 3 days was enough time in Singapore so I phoned and bought my flight forward. On thurday morning (15th Nov.) I flew into Tokyo where I met Ian with no problem and I am now staying for a week or two with him and Keiko...

I'll update with Tokyo soon but from what I can make out so far it is a great place - we have been out a few times allready and just as a curiosity; I met the Finnish transport minister on friday night...!!!

Right here goes than, sorry that I haven't made any entries I've been way to busy putting my feet up, sleeping and drinking! hehe.

Got here pretty easy & found the hotel no problem, it's cheap & basic 3 quid a night, but it's a bed & the good thing about this place (The Sawasdee House) is that it has a nice big lobby with a bar/ restaurant, internet etc. so it's cool to chill out and chat to loads and loads of other travellers. Met some Geordie lads on ther very first night and ended up getting pretty drunk (we drank Chang - Thai larger & Black Russians of all things!) and watching sex shows! (No I didn't take part!!) So I actually got to bed drunk at 2am on wednesday I think (about 20 zillion hours since I got up to leave the UK)

I Chilled out on thursday, wandered around a bit in the markets and bought some flip-flops and beads to complete the "Traveller" look!! I met an English girl (Andrea) in the hotel bar who was meeting her mate there in a couple of days and arranged to meet her the next day. I went to the Grand Palce in Bangkok the next day (I've lost track of the days again!) Tourist stuff but it was pretty interesting, mad temples such as the temple of the emarald buddah complete with buddist chanting. Went out with Andrea that night had a few beers - nothing serious, meeting up again later. Bought some stuff at the market today now I'm going to do some *more* chilling out in the bar...

Probably until 8 when everyone seems to appear then have some more beers... Anyway thats all for now, I'll write again soon (Possibly!) Take Care... J

Well I'm here and I can't think of what to say. Journey was a bit of a shocker, but I made it in one piece with all my luggage - just tired now but i can't sleep, I have to find out what I'm supposed to do now that I'm here I guess. Can't think now I'll try again later...

Well leaving in a couple of hours - staying with my sis tonight and off to the airport in the morning. Nerves are kicking in a bit I have to admit! I can't pack because my brain is all twisted - part hangover part nerves I think!!!

Tickets arrived on wednesday but I was way to drunk to realise until yesterday - thursday! BIG Thanks to everyone who came out to say goodbye on Wednesday... :)

Booked a Quantas Boomerang Pass today, flights from Sydney to Alice Springs - I'll get on a tour to see the Rock, then flying from Ayres Rock to Cairns, where I'll get a bus back down to Sydney, stopping off on the way to do stupid stuff, and tourist stuff of course.

Got a jab for some disease yesterday, don't know what it was and don't need to know now seeing as it can't get me. Brilliant hey?

Booked my flights on saturday - It was pretty easy actually. I leave London Heathrow for Bangkok on the 5th Novemer. Shit! It's gonna be scary I think... 5 days in Bangkok then I fly to Singapore, 5 days, then up tp Tokyo where I'm going to stay with Ian Warner for a bit I have about 14 days available in Tokyo then down to Auckland for 6 days and the over to Sydney. I'm going to book some internal flights in Oz before I go. I then have up to 12 months until I have to use my return flight which is via LA where I have 5 days - may go up to San Francisco?? £1201 total cost, pretty good I thought, the route is just over 30k miles so it works out at around 33p per mile! Can't wait now...

I quit ShopSmart officially on Monday, so it's all go now, planning to book flights this weekend. Fingers crossed...

Oz visa, new passport and driving licence arrived. Laughing!

Still planning. ETD 1st October??